My Thoughts on a Successful Marriage

I've been given a beautiful gift by God the Father. It came in the form of a woman, and her name is Heather. God blessed me with her 9 years ago and we've been married for almost 8 and a half of those years now.

I recently read an article about a man describing the hedges in his life he put up around his marriage to protect it. Of course these aren't literal hedges, but symbolic ones. I thought I'd take a few minutes to share some of those barriers I put up around my marriage.

First, make her last: The first person I see in the morning is my wife. I'm up early so she's usually asleep. I say a quick prayer that simply says, "Thank you Lord for the gift of my wife." When I go to bed at night the very last act of my day is to kiss her and tell her I love her. She's always the last thought in my head before I fall asleep.

Never get in an elevator alone: It may sound silly, but I work in an office with 97 people. 93 of those people are women. I do not get in elevators at work alone with another woman alone. That saves a lot of headaches and temptation. It also removes the simple perception that I'm interested in someone to the gossipy women at the office.

Do something simple: Every morning before I leave for work I try to do one thing that makes her day better. It usually is something simple like sweeping up a mess in the kitchen floor, doing the leftover dishes from the night before or picking up a stray towel in the bathroom. It may be simple, but it's one less thing that she has to do during the day and makes her life just a tiny bit easier.

Leave the intimate details at home: I don't ever talk about important things with people outside of my home. I have friends I talk to at work and many times it's about what's going on with each other's family, but leave intimate details at home where they belong.

Pray: And do it often. Many times when I leave for work after I lock the front door, I stop and say, "Dear Lord, please protect this house while I'm gone." If you get the feeling during the day that you need to say a prayer for your wife, do it. It doesn't have to be long or involved, just say, "Lord please be with my wife. I don't know why, but she needs you."

Call her: Just to say hi. I love the sound of Heather's voice. It has a very calming effect during the hectic part of the day. If things are going rough, or even if they're not I'll make a call just to say hi and tell her I love her.

Stop to Listen: This goes for anytime of the day. If she needs to talk or my kids have something to say everything stops for them. I can't count the number of times I get a phone call during the day because my son has to tell me something he did. It may not sound important at the time, but to that person, at that moment it is. So listen to what they say.

Love her: It sounds so simple, but I think so many people make it hard. Tell her you love her. I do, probably more than she wants to hear in a day, but I never want anyone to say they didn't hear me tell her I love her.

Like Her: This is probably even harder for a lot of people. I think it sounded silly the first time I told her "I like you." But so many people are in love with people they don't like. Make sure she knows you like her. People will look at you funny if they hear you say that, but she'll understand and maybe someone will hear you and start to say that to their spouse.

Open doors for her: There aren't enough gentlemen in the world anymore. At least that's what I hear. Open the car door for your wife. Open the door to the restaurant for her. It's almost become a race to us now after eight years of marriage and it's a silly game we play, but I think it's important to do little things like that for your wife. She'll appreciate it. If she doesn't, she should.

I'm sure there are many more things I could think of, but these are just a few things I do in my daily walk to help make life with Heather and my children just a little bit nicer. I love my wife. She's the greatest blessing I could have ever received and I thank God every day for her.

I love you so much, Heather Dawn.